Happy 2nd Birthday R

Dearest R, 


This morning you turned two, over night you magically transformed from my not so little baby girl into a sparkling eyed toddler.  I know the next few years are going to be rocky.  You will be establishing yourself as your own being with a big and bubbly personality that is uniquely your own.  I already know that you are going to be stubborn and strong willed as you come by those traits honestly and I hope that we can navigate those waters without too much turbulence.


Your Dad and I are so honored that you chose us to be your parents.  You have kept us on our toes from an early age, from walking at 10 months to climbing and running at 11 months.  You rounded out our little family and have brought so much adventure and mischievous joy to our house.   You have taken to farming and farm life with a zest that would have impressed your Great Great Grandpa Emmanual  (he homesteaded our farm over 100 years ago).  You are our strong little 5th generation farmer and we couldn’t be more proud of you.



I hope that over the coming years you keep your curiosity, your sense of humor never diminishes and that you continue to find happiness and amazement in the little things.  Dream big my darling, there is no such thing as reaching too high or too far.  Take the road less travelled or better yet create your own path.  Your Dad and I will always be here to catch you when you fall or to help you find your way when you think you are lost.


Love forever and always,
Mommy & Daddy


T turns Two

Dearest T,
Tomorrow you turn two, over night you magically transform from my not so little baby girl into a sparkling eyed toddler.  I know the next few years are going to be rocky.  You will be establishing yourself as your own being with a big and bubbly personality that is uniquely your own.  I already know that you are going to be just as stubborn as your Dad and I and I hope that we can navigate those waters without too much turbulence.

Tonight as I sang you to sleep with my not so on key rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little
Star I reflected on the past two years.  Your Dad and I are so honored that you chose us to be your parents.  Your arrival took us by surprise but you knew better than we did what our lives were missing and how to make us whole.  You turned our twosome into a family and made our house into a home.   You have taken to farming and farm life with a zest that would have impressed your Great Great Grandpa Emmanual  (he homesteaded our farm over 100 years ago).  You are our strong little 5th generation farmHer and we couldn’t be more proud of you.

I hope that over the coming years you keep your curiosity, your sense of humor never dims and that you continue to find happiness and amazement in the little things.  Dream big my darling, there is no such thing as reaching too high or too far.  Take the road less travelled or better yet create your own path.  Your Dad and I will always be here to catch you when you fall or to help you find your way when you think you are lost.

Love forever and always,

Mommy & Daddy

 

Breaking Down

Its 9:35 pm I have just successfully put my toddler to sleep, it only took me 1.5 hours to do so.  I am currently typing with one hand and holding my 7 month old with the other, she is also on a sleep strike it seems and I am done.  I have had it with being a Mom, my compassion and patience feel like they are all used up and I have nothing else to give.  I am drowning in the reality that is my life.  I love my little girls and given the chance I wouldn’t change a thing but this Mom gig is kicking my ass.  Having 2 under 2 is so so so soooooo much harder then I ever imagined it would be.

I have a confession, I never wanted or dreamed about being a stay at home Mom.  I feel as though I am not cut out for it, I am missing the genetic component that would make me compatible.  I have friends tell me all the time “I don’t know how you get so much done with your girls”.  Referring to all the farming, gardening and farm chores that I manage to accomplish with my little’s in tow.  The truth is I drag them around for all of those activities for me, because I am selfish, because I cannot stay in the house with them all day and not completely loose my sanity.

Being a Mom is only made harder by also being a farmers wife.  It means that I feel like a single parent 95% of the time.  Winter is about the only season where he is able to help at night and that is of course unless he has hockey.  The rest of the year we roll from seeding into spraying, straight to haying and then BAM its harvest time.  My husband also works off farm and I am jealous of his job, I am jealous that he gets to leave the house by himself and not worry about feeding times, diapers and naps.  I resent that during the day he has adult company and doesn’t have to listen to 8 hours of whining, screaming and grunting (because using words is really to much to ask).

I feel like there is an angry little me inside my chest trying to claw her way out and I cannot let that happen.  Because she wants to smash things and run wild screaming through the fields.  She was so close to escaping tonight, so while I tried and tried and tried to put my toddler to sleep I ran stairs. I ran 50 sets of stairs tonight, all in an attempt to keep myself from breaking.

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